Freedom, Grace, and Hope

The other day, as I was becoming more and more frustrated with a situation within my home, I asked my husband to watch the older children while I went to our church's Adoration chapel.

When I got in the car, all I really wanted to do was drive. You know, music blaring, windows rolled down, worry-free, road-trip kind of drive? But I knew that no matter where I drove, or for how long, it wasn't really going to touch my heart, or speak to me a Word I so desperately needed.

So instead, I stuck to my original plan and made a five-minute pilgrimage – thank You, Holy Spirit for encouraging me to go where I needed to be, instead of where I simply didn't need to think.

The Lord is sometimes called the Divine Physician; it occurs to me in this case He truly was.

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matt 9:12-13).

I sat there in the chapel, asking the Lord, “Why? Why do I run into this same wall again and again? How do I move forward?”

I do think the Lord spoke to my heart, and while I can't share the exact words, they contained three elements: freedom, grace, and hope.

Freedom, because I am not my past. I am neither people from my past, nor mistakes from my past. The Lord paid a great price to set me free, and I need to open my eyes wider and hold on more tightly to His amazing gift and promise: “Behold, I make all things new” (Rev 21:5).

Grace, because that is what the Lord is extending to me. This gift of new life, of life in Him, completely unmerited by me. Abundant grace – not just for myself, but for those I love (and for those I don't love as well as I should).

And hope, because I can look forward to a future that may be better than today. Hope because when -- not if -- I fall again, His hand will still be extended, ready to bring me back into His Presence. In giving me this gift, I know God wants me to share it. And I want to share His generosity with my husband, my children, and any others who may cross my path.

So I went home that night, apologized to the child with whom I'd been clashing wills, and shared some warm cookies, milk, smiles, and a big helping of grace.

 

 

A short time later, I found myself struggling again, this time with issues much larger than my own household. A series of discussions had left my heart filled with fear and uncertainty regarding a large-scale issue that made me wonder how my children and grandchildren would be able to live out lives of faith in a world that sometimes seems so determined to insist God has no place here. I turned to a favorite blog and found these reassuring words, based on a discussion of the encyclical Casti Connubii:

“God, it turns out, didn't order the world so that if you aren't the President you are helpless. He didn't order reality so that if you don't have earthly power, you are pretty much sunk.

“He did the opposite. He confounded the wise, you know? (I Corinthians 1:27) He made the littlest things of the utmost importance.

“...We try to keep the ranting about how bad things are 'out there' to a minimum, on the theory that what really matters is what we do 'in here' (in our homes). My thought for you, even as I read this encyclical and wonder just what dear old Pius XI would think of the state of things today, prophetic as he was, is the same as my thought for me: Let's take our sweet Lord at His word, and go do unto some little ones.”

How those words gave me hope! Again, just when I needed it – God is so good!

Once more, He extended to me freedom: While we can't solve the world's problems (at least, not most of us), there is something we can do. We can control our response, our prayers, the love we pour out to our family, and even the love we attempt to share with those who do not wish us well. I don't have to look at national issues and be bogged down by the bigness of it all. I can look at my own little life, and love those in it, and know it does make a difference.

Grace: Yes, there are issues “out there” about which I have very little control. But, how great is my life?! Every morning I have a fresh chance to go and “do unto some little ones.” Even when the questions weighing on us seem so big, or our children behave so stubbornly, there is something within our reach.  It may be small, but it, too, can change the world.  And if we can take a deep breath and keep our eyes on the task at hand, on the person in front of us in need of love, He will give me the strength for whatever needs to be done.

Hope: The thing about worst-case scenerios is that they don't leave room for God.  He always provides the strength we need; as we look forward, we need to remember that will not change (1Cor. 10:13). After all,  "Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Heb. 13:8). He has never given me cause to do anything but trust, and His faithfulness will endure (Ps. 100:5)

I just found this quote from Pope Benedict XVI, on that same blog I mentioned: “One who has hope lives differently.” Let His freedom, grace, and hope be part of that difference. I pray He will speak these into your heart as well today!