Following Jesus and Sharing His Story

Today's Gospel reading contained two sentences that deeply touched my heart. The first was:

"You follow me" (Jn 21:22).

This is so simple and powerful. I don't need to look around at what my neighbor is doing. I don't need to worry about what others might think of me. I do need to seek my Lord with all my heart; He will be found. And where He leads—well, that is where I want to be! Yes—I choose to follow! Lord, help me to keep my eyes on You.

He may lead me to terrain I'm uncomfortable walking on. He may lead me to unfamiliar lands, or places that, at first glance, I just don't want to be. The environment may seem overwhelming, too much for my meager talents. That's when I have to remember who I am following. It is the one I love; more importantly, it is the one who loves me. He has always been faithful to me. When He calls, it is for a purpose, and He has a plan.

When He calls, the way may not be easy (it probably won't be, so don't let that dissuade you), but it will overflow with an abundance of peace that seems to completely contradict external circumstances. I have felt that this year, as I cut back on my job to homeschool my children after my son got sick. It was clearly a call from God, and now I truly am looking around me in wonder as the end of the year draws near, because we have done it (almost). So much craziness has been going on this year, but my overall internal assesment of the year is one of peace and joy (and an increased appreciation for coffee, if I'm being totally honest). God is so very, very good!

...

And for the second verse:

"There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the books that would be written" (Jn 21:25).

Today, as I read those words, I couldn't help but wonder: What if? What if the world at least tried to fill up book after book, website after website, post after post with stories of what God has done for us?

That is why this blog is named Kindness Remembered, because I want to remember the ways He has worked in my life. Even more, I want my children, and my children's children, to have the opportunity to read about a God who is so good, so powerful, so loving and wise and kind, that we placed our very lives in His hands, and He provided. More than that, He led. And He led us to places we could never have dreamed of going on our own. And He dreamed up for us a plan more brilliant than one we could have dreamed up on our own. And He gave His very life to help us achieve it. (This makes me think of Toby Mac's Me Without You.)

He is oh, so worthy of our trust.

I watched a video (here) last week about how Facebook manipulates its users. It's Facebook's founders speaking out against the very thing they created. Watching the video made me question whether I should step off of the social media platform for good, and I did cut down on my usage over the past few days.

But, something has been on my heart, and it has been growing for some time. Today is the twenty-five year anniversary of the death of my best friend from third grade through high school. I wanted to remember her in some way on Facebook, and share a way in which God helped me be able to handle the grief of losing her. (Something I shared here.)

Did I want to make myself vulnerable in this way? Did I want to feel drawn to checking Facebook again, when I have been able to step away from it? No and no.

But I felt that call—that "follow Me"—and I wondered if maybe my story could help encourage someone. Or maybe it would be good for someone to know they weren't alone in missing our friend. I didn't know the reasons (and often we never fully do); I just felt like God was asking me to step out in this way, and to share a story about God's goodness in a time of great grief in my life. It was on my heart before the reading this morning. After the reading, I felt ready to start a movement: Let's turn Facebook's equations on their heads by just filling it up with stories of God's amazing love for His children! They think we want likes and to build up our social status; what if we all just don't worry about that and instead follow Him and tell the specifics of how His love story is playing out in our lives. It's an irresistable story! It will draw people in!

Now, I'm not so sure about a movement, but I still love the idea of people sharing their stories of God's goodness. We, His people, His Church, we need to hear that we are not alone. We are not alone in our struggles, and we are not alone when we are looking for answers. He walks with us. Sometimes it's easier to believe that when we can hear about how He did that in the life of someone close to us.

I'm happy to say my Facebook post has had another positive outcome. People I love, people from an important, but now long-ago time in my life, commented about their love for my dear friend—for our dear friend—and their hurt at losing her. So you see? I am not alone in missing my dear friend, even a quarter of a century after her death. I wasn't before either, but now I know it. And there is so much strength, and grace, in both the community and in the knowing.

The Word We Long to Hear

For all the complexity of our world, and for all of the words most of us scroll through each day, looking for something to fill the hunger inside of our hearts, the words our hearts most long to hear are actually suprisingly simple:

"I love you."

"You are beautiful."

"You are forgiven."

"Well done."

Unfortunately, these are words many people do not often hear. Perhaps some never hear them.

This is one reason it is so important to turn to Scripture each day. In addition to the wisdom and guidance found there, our Lord Himself speaks to us about His immense love for us. He draws us closer to His heart—where comfort and joy abound!

This is also why it's important to come together in comunity with other Christians. God loves it when His children encourage one another! I know as a parent, there isn't much that brings me more joy than the times when my children support each other. For example, this past weekend, my five-year-old son, Nick, started flag football and was very scared. He frequently motioned from the sidelines to his fourteen-year-old brother, who then ran over to tell him he was doing a great job. That was all it took. Nick stayed in the game and even managed to have fun. 

I recently was blessed to experience the power of fellow Christians speaking Holy Spirit-inspired words into my own life. I was at a beautiful event for renewal and community for Catholics, but I was struggling with feeling locked inside some turbulent emotions that had slowly descended on me throughout the previous month (largely due to the two-year anniversary of losing our daughter Gianna at eighteen-weeks' gestation). There had been grief and hurts and exhaustion, and while I turned to the Lord in prayer, I could not find freedom from their grasp.

I actually was working at the event as a photographer, among other things. I love doing this, but it does prevent me, at times, from entering fully into all aspects of the event. One evening, however, as I approached a group of people who had just been praying over one of its members, they looked at me and said, "Can we pray for you too? You have been busy taking pictures all day! Surely you could use some prayer?"

I was thinking, "Do I ever! You have no idea of the internal struggle I am experiencing, or of how I have been pleading with God to help me let go of this"—but my initial reaction was to decline and back away to some corner in which I wouldn't have to reveal any part of my heart.

Thanks be to God, however, grace prevailed, and I accepted their kind offer. When they asked what I would like prayers for, I didn't know how to put it into words, other than to say, "There is a part of my heart that feels hardened." And they prayed that it would soften and be open to the Lord once again.

Then they placed their hands on me and began to pray. I stood there, not knowing what to expect, but hopeful that the Lord would work through these beautiful souls who were caring for me in this way. After a while, one man spoke words that the Lord had put on his heart for me: "The joy of the Lord is your strength. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful. You are a blessing to so many."

Lord, thank You for this! Truly, you offer us such abundance in everything! While I just wanted to NOT feel my past hurts constricting my heart in a way that felt like I was wearing shoes that fit too tightly—so that, squirm and move about as I might, I just couldn't get comfortable—You went so much further! You removed the constriction and hardness and put in their place JOY, FREEDOM, and CONFIDENCE!

While the person who spoke those words knew nothing of the particular struggles I was facing that weekend, he spoke exactly what I needed to hear. Only God can do that.

Someone also spoke a Word from Scripture over me twenty years ago, at the first prayer event I ever attended. At that time, the words struck me with a similar power; however, their message, while also filled with love, was much different: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear . . . he who fears is not perfected in love" (1 Jn 4:18).

At that time in my relatively young life, the death of many loved ones, most of whom also had been young, had indeed filled me with fear. And Jesus told me in that moment that He did not desire for me to be afraid. With this new message, "The joy of the Lord is your strength," I felt Him saying that I have grown, and that while the fear may not be completely gone, His joy is also there to shine through it. And that message was a joy indeed!

Our Lord loves us, and He guides us. If we allow Him, He will take us by the hand and lead us to streams of living waters. He will nourish us with His very Self. He will shape our hearts to be like His. We are free to keep our own hearts, but they are narrow, constricted, too-tight, incapable of moving in ways that will bring forth fruit and life. Jesus says, "Apart from me you can do nothing," and He means "nothing" (Jn 15:5). Nothing but hurt and ache for His healing touch, and incapable of offering that healing touch to those so very dear to us, whose hearts are searching for that same love.

Seek Him; He will be found (Mt 7:7). Make yourself vulnerable; if I had not opened myself to the prayers of others, I could not have heard His voice (Heb 4:7). He has a message He wishes to speak to each of our hearts—a custom-crafted message of love from the Lord who so carefully created each one of us. And when you find Him, share that joy with others! Speak the Word they need to hear! "For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" (1 Cor 9:16)

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I can't conclude without sharing this song by Twila Paris, The Joy of the Lord is My Strength.