Remembering Opa

 My Opa passed away Monday.

After getting a call late Friday that he had been placed in Hospice, my family packed up the campsite were we'd been vacationing, and drove four hours to see my Opa.

My biggest wish was to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet with/for him.  I have known about the chaplet for a long time, but I only recently discovered how powerful it is when said for a dying person.  In the two months I have known about this, I have been able to help it be said at the bedside of two of our loved ones.  God is good!

Jesus promised St. Faustina, to whom He gave the Divine Mercy chaplet, that "At the hour of their death, I defend as My own glory every soul that will say this chaplet; or when others say it for a dying person, the indulgence is the same" (Diary, 811)

When we arrived at the hospital for my Opa, I felt a bit frantic.  I did not want to run out of time!  We got to the room, and said our hellos, and then my husband took our children to another waiting area.  I was hoping to have a quiet moment alone with my Opa to pray the chaplet, but that was clearly not going to happen soon.  So I sat down next to him, and told everyone I was just going to quietly say a prayer.

My Opa couldn't talk at this point, and this side of my family is not Catholic, so I didn't know how people would respond.  But they were so eager for me to pray -- and they asked me to pray out loud!

For anyone not familiar with the chaplet, it is said on rosary beads, is so simple and fast, and really just calls on God's mercy.  I am so thankful our Lord gave us this prayer for an especially strong weapon to aid the dying, because it is welcoming.  I think for some people, especially non-Catholics, who must often be found at bedsides, the rosary may seem long, or off-putting.  But the Chaplet of Divine Mercy touches hearts so easily -- as evidenced by the tears I saw running down the faces of my family when I was done.

There is something so beautiful about praying at someone's bedside in this way!  In such a helpless time, you truly are doing the most tangible thing possible!

During my visits with my Opa over the next 24 hours, I was able to pray the chaplet again, late in the evening with my two oldest children.  I also was able to read him a Psalm, pray the Our Father and a spontaneous prayer with him, and share with him about one of the most difficult moments in my life, when I felt I heard God ask me to trust Him.

I told my Opa that I had realized yes, God had always been trustworthy in other hard events in my life; and that helped me trust He always would be.  I assured my Opa God loved him too.  He could trust God too -- God would take care of him through this journey.  And I told him God would care for my Nana as well.  I promised him we also would take care of her.

I thanked him for his love, for his beautiful, 64-year marriage, for his example of strength.

And I told him I loved him, too.

He couldn't speak, except with his eyes, but I think -- from the expression I saw in those eyes -- he was grateful.  I pray and hope my words -- God's words, and love -- helped him find peace through his difficult last days.

After all, my Opa helped me.

When I was young, and trying to climb the tree only the big kids could reach, he gave me a lift.

When I was young, and needed a hand to hold, he held it in his, and danced a skip-step with me, and sang "Doop-Dee-Doo" and "Tea for Two."

Throughout all of my life, even when I didn't realize I needed it, he and my Nana provided me with an example of a committed, loving marriage.

They provided me with lessons in the importance of family, and fun.  Opa was famous amongst our relatives for his barbecue chicken.  When our family got together, there was always "Opa's famous chicken," and brunches (for some reason he liked to add jelly to his omelets), and lots (LOTS) of other food, and hours upon hours of card playing, and fishing, and laugher -- so much laughter -- and togetherness.

Over the past decade, he had slowed down a lot.  But when we visited with our children, there was no doubt in their minds that they were somewhere where people loved them.  And our children love their great-grandparents right back.  My children have warmed my heart with the depth of love they have shown in their comments over the past few days.

My husband told me that whenever my Opa shook his hand, he felt a deep sense of warmth, appreciation, welcome, love: "And how can you not love someone who makes you feel like that?"

Opa and Brendan when he was a little guy.  Doesn't he resemble Nick?

Isn't it amazing -- the way you can touch others' lives simply by loving them?  What that handshake meant to my husband?  What simply knowing there was a home in Northern Michigan where they could visit any time, and always find hugs, and love, and food, meant to my kids?  How listening to my Opa and Nana call to sing "Happy Birthday" meant to each one of us when our big day arrived each year?

And for me -- what it meant to know there was one person to whom, when I said, "I love you," would always respond, "Not as much as I love you!"  I would argue with him a bit, but there it stood, and deep down, I suspected he was right.  I suspected there was something about being a grandparent that enabled him to love me even more than I loved him -- even though I did love him so much.  I told him I looked forward to hopefully someday discovering that love a grandparent has for their grandchildren.

I am so thankful that, instead of questioning (in fun) whether he could really love me more, last weekend I was simply able to look him in the eyes and say, "Thank you.  I know you love me so much. And it has meant the world to me."

May you rest in the Lord's presence and peace, dear Opa.

 

August 15, 1950

Request for prayers

Please continue to join me in praying for Michael Grossmeyer, my son's classmate and friend diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia.  He will be in the hospital at least six months.  He has three siblings.

Fundraising efforts are ongoing to help with medical costs.  You can donate, or simply keep up-to-date on Michael's progress, through the widget I've placed on the right-hand side of this page.

Please also pray for Linda, a fellow mom at my children's school who has done so much to support Catholic education, and who is such a warm and loving person.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of the summer, and has three young children.

Also, please pray for my sister-in-law's father, John.  He was in an accident while cutting down a tree, and from what I have heard, has broken most of the bones in his face.  It has been over a week since the accident, but they have not been able to successfully transfer him out of the ICU.  He does not seem to be doing well.  In addition to that hardship, on the day after the accident, his wife Becky was supposed to start chemotherapy and radiation for an aggressive brain cancer.  They have two children, ages 14 and 11, still at home.

 

Prayer to St. Michael

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.

be our protector against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray.

And do thou, oh prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all other evil spirits who dwell about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

 

Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.  O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

 

Our own summer has taken quite the detour over the past three-plus weeks.  First, Meghan became sick and was diagnosed with pneumonia.  Then, Kate.  Then, Nicholas was diagnosed with "bronchiolitis that was probably about to turn into pneumonia."  And both of my other boys have been combatting bouts of fever and feeling sick for about a week.  Except for a couple instances, and to go to the Urgent Care (recommended by our doctor, since they have an X-ray machine right there), I have not left my house since this all began.

 

Our summer started with a complicated miscarriage, and I was certainly not expecting to lose nearly another month to illness as well.  But we have this beautiful belief in our Catholic faith, and it has sustained me so much through the past weeks.  It's not just looking at your own hardship and considering the fact that some people have suffering worse than yours -- although I certainly have done that too.  It's the belief, not only that what we do affects one another, but that when we do things with love, and with the intention of wanting to help someone else who may be suffering, our seemingly unrelated actions really can have that effect.

 

So while I cared for feverish kids, I prayed that we could, indeed, have a house full of fever, if it might somehow help Michael or Linda, or anyone else undergoing chemotherapy, who really could not afford such an illness.

 

While I stumbled through the past days and nights, prayer (or much of any coherent thought) was hard to come by, but I did hold that hope in my heart.  Please God, let this somehow help them.

 

And in faith, we trust it does.  In faith, we trust that, yes, nothing is wasted, and "all things work for the good of those who love Him." (Romans 8:28)

 

All things -- even pneumonia, even life-threatening accidents, even cancer.

 

May God give us the faith to know that this fact, which seems so impossible to understand, and so difficult to grasp, is true.

Updated 8/19/14: Can I also request prayers for my Opa?  He is in the ICU with kidney failure and pneumonia.  The doctor just told my Grandmother it "doesn't look good."  My family is about to head off to vacation, while I go see my Opa with Nicholas.  Hopefully we will meet up with my family later, and everything will have worked out.  Thank you.

Walk with One Who calms storms

Please join with me in praying for Michael, Luke's classmate and friend, who was just diagnosed with leukemia.  I wrote this post yesterday afternoon.  It's s bit light for what their family is going through, but I certainly do ask that God comfort them, and calm this storm.

 

I took these photos just over a week ago, after a very large storm passed through.

 I have the silliest little boy sitting on my lap, in my bed, right now, with a blanket over his head.  It is raining quite hard outside, and was thundering not very long ago, and apparently he feels safest close to me, with his head hidden away.

It's normal for us to fear storms -- be they simple summer rainstorms, or other tumultuous events that rock the foundation of our lives.

Today's Gospel reading found the Apostles in a boat being "tossed about by waves" (Matthew 14).  Jesus walked toward them on the water, and they became terrified, because they thought He was a ghost.  He spoke, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."

Another time, in Mark 4, Jesus is asleep when a storm threatens to overtake the boat.  He says, "Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.  (And) He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?”

Let us remember that as we walk through life's storms, we with Him.  And let us hug little boys who hide themselves uder blankets for as long as we can!