 |
| Image credit |
"God loves us just the way we are, but He loves us too much to want us to
stay there."
How often I have heard these words or some version of them! Recently, I experienced a moment in which God loved me in this way.
About eighteen years ago, a magazine I reached out to about freelance writing
invited me to submit a pitch for a regular column. I
enthusiastically gathered ideas and wrote samples. I had experience writing a
regular column from my days as a newspaper editor, and it was work I loved, so
I felt hopeful both for the opportunity and for the assistance it would provide
our growing family.
Nevertheless, it wasn't to be. After a long wait—during which time I discovered
I was pregnant with our third child—I found out I was not chosen for the
position. Honestly, it was for the best. My son was born with an
unexpected bilateral cleft lip and palate and, along with three surgeries in
his first year of life, required a level of care that probably was better suited to a life without that additional responsibility.
From time to time over the years, I've even looked at the work I am doing now—which
I love—and wondered if I would be doing this work if I had gotten that job.
After all, in the flow of time, if one thing had changed, it stands to reason
that others would have as well. Would gaining something I thought I would like
have led me to not do something I know I love? This isn't the looking back
of Lot's wife, but a looking back with gratitude, reflecting on the fact that
He led me to a good place. Our Lord knows what He is doing!
Why then, have I always looked at that column with a bit of
disdain and regret—after all these years? I am so ashamed to admit this! I
barely even noticed the emotions were there, but they certainly were! The full
force of this understanding came to me recently, when I met a woman helping my daughter
with something she is involved in. As the woman and I began talking, I was
struck by her kindness, her faith, and her genuine desire to support my
daughter. I also was struck by her resemblance to the woman who has been
writing the aforementioned column all these years! When I got home, a quick
online search confirmed what I already knew to be true: this godly woman
who is so kind to my daughter also authors the well-written column I’ve given
a disappointed “ugh” to all these years.
With this encounter, the
Lord sternly but lovingly impressed on my heart that He doesn’t want us to
respond in selfishly driven disappointment to any of his precious children or
their gifts. He wants to root out anything of that sort in our hearts and replace it with gratitude for that person and their gifts. He also wants us to trust
that He is leading us on the path best suited for our own gifts and salvation.
I heard a beautiful talk this week, in which the speaker, a Sister
of Life, shared, “Your heart reflects a piece of God's heart that others can
only know through you.” When others have opportunities to share their gifts,
even if it is in ways we wish we could share our gifts but are currently unable
to, let’s give thanks for the piece of his heart revealed through that person
and their work. And let’s also give thanks for our own lives and all of the
ways in which we are able to reflect a piece of his heart.
Those opportunities are available to us all. Let’s pray for the grace to trust
that the doors He opens are the ones that will lead to our ultimate good.
Meanwhile, I'm going to humbly thank God for this gentle reproof, resolve to appreciate the gifts of all his children, and thank Him for loving me too much to let me stay as I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment