Thank you, Grandpa

Three weeks ago, my husband's Grandfather, Wil, passed away at the age of 91.  His wife, Marian, survives him.  They were married 71 years!  They have four sons, 12 grandchildren, and 20 great-grandchildren.

I will always remember the first time I met Wil and Marian -- who I now can't imagine calling anything but Grandma and Grandpa.  They walked into my future in-law's home the day after Christmas 1998, and I instantly fell in love with their warm, welcoming personalities.

Four Generations!

 Over the years, we spent our vacations (when we just had a couple kids or less!) with Grandma and Grandpa in Florida.  We spent our New Year's Eves playing Rummicube with them, and Grandma would bring along the noisemakers.  We sometimes spent the night at their house so we could play games into the evening, and wake up to one of Grandma's delicious breakfasts, complete with fruit salad.  They were part of every Sacramental celebration, birthday, and so many other special events in our lives.

They would even babysit if I needed to do something on their part of town.  Just before Christmas, they watched Nicholas while I got a haircut.

One of my favorite memories with Grandpa and Grandma was the week before Nicholas' Baptism.  They came over for a day to help me get ready for the party.  They both cleaned, and they both took plenty of turns holding the baby.  Grandpa even vacuumed my basement.  That certainly was above the call of duty!

Grandma and Grandpa's bodies may have been aging over the years (although they seemed to do so at a slower rate than the rest of us), but their hearts never did.  There was -- and still is, with Grandma -- a youthfulness, warmth, and love in them that drew you to them, and made you grateful for each moment you got to spend together.

I call Grandma the "Baby Whisperer," because she has a way with everyone -- but with young people in particular -- of paying attention to them in a way that they know they truly have her attention. And then she thinks of creative art projects or things to do that can't help but mesmerizing them.  Even if it's just playing baby dolls, kitchen, or trucks -- how often do I truly have a chance to do that with my children in a way that lets them know they are my primary focus?  Great-Grandmothers can do that -- and she excels at it! Babies respond to it. Young children respond to it. Teenagers respond to it. Who wouldn't respond to it?

I always thought of Grandma as the one with the special way with babies, but then that day with them preparing for Nicholas' Baptism showed me that Grandpa had his own special magic as well.  Grandpa held him, and made faces at him, and really seemed to be Nicholas' favorite person that day!

Before Grandpa's funeral, I was able to put together photo boards of him spending time with all of his family members.  I couldn't help but notice how many pictures there were of him holding babies.  I also couldn't help but notice the immense smile on his face, and the intense joy that emanated from him, in every. one. of those pictures.

Yes, Grandpa loved babies too. (And as you can perhaps tell, this says a lot about a person in my book!)

There even is a story about how Grandpa came home on leave during WWII to meet his first son.  When it was time to go back, he couldn't do it.  Grandpa sat and held his son for two days -- he spent two days AWOL -- before he could bring himself to return.

He returned to his post, and he served his country honorably, but there also seems something so honorable in a new father who just can't let go of his son (temporarily, at least).  That was just an early glimpse of the love for his family that truly was a hallmark of Grandpa's life.

In his professional life, Grandpa worked hard and advanced to a level in his company held by no one else without a college degree.  He was able to retire at an early age, and enjoyed 35 years of active retirement.  He and Grandma travelled the world, and spent a lot of time in their motor home.  At one point, they had 70 friends with whom they would keep in touch from their time motor home travels.

Grandpa loved to engage strangers in conversation, and was always ready with a genuine compliment.

One additional trait for which I am greatly indebted to him is that he was an excellent builder, and that skill has continued on to my husband, who has saved us more money than I can image digging footings for a new addition, building walls to finish our basement, and even building me a beautiful bookshelf.

As I said my goodbyes to Grandpa, I knew deep in my heart that the traits I love most about my husband -- his faith, his own love of family, his integrity, his work ethic -- were modeled so beautifully in this man.  Thank you, Grandpa.

Grandpa and Grandma also taught me the secret to life -- or at least, to aging well.  Stay active, and stay involved in the lives of those you love. Care about them, serve them.  Hold babies.  Keep working hard.  Keep looking sharp :-) Read. Learn.  Engage others in conversation.  Love.

Love.

I have known Grandpa for just over 16 years, and in that time he has been such an active presence in our lives.  I love him like he was my own Grandfather.

During summers, Grandpa often was at my in-law's cottage during the times we were there.  I don't think I ever realized what an impact this had on my children. They have remarked so many times since Grandpa's death that the cottage just won't be much fun without him. Honestly, my kids spend so much time with their cousins while we are there, I didn't know they were aware of anyone else's presence. But as Brendan put it, "He just had a way of making everything fun."

So there you have it, parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, and uncles: When you are available, and when you love them, they notice, even if it seems like they don't. Your presence is a present.

Thank you, Grandpa, for yours.