On hope and diagnosing miscarriages

"Hope means hoping when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all... As long as matters are really hopeful, hope is mere flattery or platitude; it is only when everything is hopeless that hope begins to be a strength."

~ G. K. Chesterton

Speaking of hope, here is Nicholas with a sweet friend who, by birth, is a couple weeks older than him.  But she was born at 26 weeks, weighing only one pound.  To have her at our home, running around, smiling, and hugging her big friend, is a reminder that we always should hope!

I do not know yet how my situation will end, but I want to share the website Misdiagnosed Miscarriages again, for anyone who may be going through a similar situation.  (I particularly liked this page.)

I am in shock at how quickly the midwife I first saw -- after not seeing a heartbeat on a 6-week ultrasound -- was willing to just sign me up for a D&C.  And she said she did not think I should wait more than a week before having a D&C.  Yet another midwife said I could take my time -- it is my body; of course I should take my time, and feel confident in whatever decision I make.  She said many women come in at 10 weeks, and never realized their baby stopped growing very early.  As long as I watch for signs of infection, I should be fine waiting for a natural miscarriage.  And then I will know no mistake has been made.

This is not to say women should never choose D&Cs.  I can see why that would be a good choice for many women.  This is to say women should never feel pressured to rush into a D&C.

Yesterday, when I spoke to a nurse at the Pope Paul VI Institute, she told me they don't even perform 6-week ultrasounds anymore, because they had so many incidents of not finding a heartbeat at six weeks, and then finding one at eight weeks.  Now, the earliest they will perform routine ultrasounds is 7-1/2 to 8 weeks.

I trust the Pope Paul VI Institute so much, because my experience with them during my last pregnancy showed them to be so compassionate, well-educated, and willing to fight for my baby, at a point when the "standard" medical community was willing to stand by and throw up their hands.  I will have to share that experience another time.

The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage site shares that in the UK, they are even changing standards so that most miscarriages are not diagnosed before nine weeks.  Because they were making mistakes.

These are the lives of women, children, and families that will never be the same.  A misdiagnosis is not acceptable.

Of course, miscarriages do happen.  Sometimes that heartbeat will never be found.  But hopefully, we can help women find some peace of mind, and the knowledge that a she has made her own informed decision, rather than being rushed into something someone else feels is right.