Our Holy Thursday Celebration

 My husband, children, and I have been celebrating a Seder Meal on Holy Thursday for almost a decade now.  It has become my favorite celebration of the year.  A Seder meal is a Jewish custom honoring the Passover meal.

 

I wish I could say we celebrate our Seder in a way that would make even a devout Jewish family feel welcome at our table.  However, I'm guessing we fall short of that goal.

 

I have to be at peace with this for two reasons.  One, I do my best, but I did not grow up living these customs.  I've gleaned what I can from the Internet, and I improvise where necessary to make it an enjoyable, relaxing experience for my family.  And two, while I love recalling the meal the Jews ate before their escape from Egypt, and God's profound care for them at that time, our family's ultimate goal in celebrating a Seder is to recall Jesus' profound care for us when He instituted the Eucharist at the Last Supper.

Our celebration of the Seder has profoundly affected our family.  It is the one time of the year where we go all out -- we use my Grandmother's china; we eat many choices of usually homemade food, we enjoy a dessert (a lamb cake that varies in its resemblance to an actual lamb from year to year) -- and it's just for the seven of us, our immediate family.

We read from the Bible, both about the Passover, and about the Last Supper.  We wash each other's feet, oldest to youngest, like Jesus washed His disciple's feet.  We remember what a gift it is to serve.  There is such an intimacy in all of these traditions -- ones we have developed on our own over the years, as our family has grown, and mourned, and celebrated, and hopefully, come a bit closer to grasping what it means that Christ gave His life for us.

Hopefully, we've come just a bit closer to grasping what it means that He continues to come to us each day, disguised in these simple forms of bread and wine.

The Mass, ultimately, is about the family of Christ joining together for a meal -- one that truly sustains because it is Jesus Himself.  Jesus wants to meet us here -- in the intimacy of a family meal.

At our Seder, we eat many foods, or a variation of them, found in a Jewish Seder, like lamb, haroset (a variation on applesauce for us), hard boiled eggs, bitter herbs (which we usually substitute with some salad or celery).  I often make the unleavened bread, but when I was pregnant with Nicholas I had to simplify things.  I purchased bread without yeast that year, and it did disappear a lot faster than my homemade version ever did.

Each food included in the Jewish Seder contains a deep and beautiful significance.  Annually reading about their story (now our story as well), and also living it, in a way, through the food we see, touch, and eat, helps us slowly absorb its meaning in a very powerful way.

We also serve grape juice and red wine.  And any child preparing to make his or her First Communion gets to have their first taste of wine.  (They consider this a huge treat -- but change their mind after the first sip!)  These drinks and a bowl of grapes help point us toward the joy and gift of the wine of the Eucharist.

This meal can involve work. (The year I was pregnant with Nicholas I simplified it significantly due to my need to stay off my feet -- so if you don't have a lot of time, don't give up on this celebration! It's still possible!)  I remember one year in particular, when I sat down at dinner and realized I had basically spent the whole day in the kitchen, preparing food.  However, my kids had patiently played around me, and I was struck by the realization that they had not nagged for my attention.  They had known that what I was doing was something special for them -- for all of us.  We all had been absorbed in the preparation and anticipation of a simple meal.

That day, and every Holy Week since, our home was filled with music by Michael Card -- Come to the Table, The Basin and the Towel, and God's Own Fool.  These songs resonate with so much of the truth we are supposed to find on Holy Thursday.

Whenever I think back on that day in the kitchen, one word fills my heart.

Joy.

Our Holy Thursday meal also is important, because it forces us to slow down and come together as we approach the solemnity and holiness of the days ahead.  Our meal, and its preparation, forces us to set this day apart.

It seems like we have been better able to enter into the fullness of Good Friday, when we begin to honor it the night before, as Jesus did.  The children are better able to see this is not just a day off school, because we are anticipating, together, a beautiful celebration unlike any other we have all year.

Here are two resources for ideas about how to implement a Catholic Seder meal into your family's Triduum: from EWTN and Catholic Culture.

Our ability to implement various things, and readings, has varied with our children's ages.  When we began sharing this meal, I had high expectations and very young children.  Now, I have more realistic expectations and children who are more mature and better understand what we are trying to do.  I think the most important part of that equation is my ability to relax and know they are learning so much from just sharing in the process.  It's not about getting everything perfect.

 During the Easter after we lost our baby Benedict, I had an especially difficult time entering into the celebratory nature of Easter itself.  I had experienced the most beautiful Triduum -- Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday -- of my life, and I felt so dejected at missing out on the lighthearted joy I thought I was supposed to feel when Easter Sunday arrived. 

When I brought this up to my spiritual director, he carefully pointed out to me that I had put effort into the important things.  Our family had entered into the mysteries of the Last Supper and Christ's death and resurrection the best we could.  After that, whether or not I, in my mourning, could mirror the our extended family's Easter enthusiasm, was beside the point.

I still experienced joy that Easter, but it was different, and it was deeper.  And I realized that some years, we can't always enter into Easter joy in the way we imagine it should look.  But thankfully, we always have the gift of the Triduum.  On Holy Thursday, we can always treat ourselves to the gift of a simple Seder meal.  In every year, we can enter into the reality of Christ's walk up Calvary.

And then, when Easter morning comes, we can rest in the knowledge that Jesus has opened the door that makes our salvation possible.  God has once again set His people free!

That is the true joy we should seek.  This is the true joy God always wants to help us find.

For our family, the Seder meal is one step in that journey.  Please let me know if you give it a try!  I pray God will bless your Holy Week and Easter!