Find success in faithfulness

The reason I recommitted myself to this blog earlier this year was directly tied to efforts I was making, along with a few other women in my parish, to promote Eucharistic Adoration within our church.

Some of us had not even known each other before this year, but then, there we were on Ash Wednesday, standing in the church's gathering space, with a beautiful presentation, and packets of information, to help people learn about, and hopefully embrace, time with our Lord in Adoration.

The pictures today come from our presentation on Ash Wednesday.

I was awe-struck at how easily everything had come together.  Each woman had gifts that simply shined as we discussed how we might help more people discover our church's chapel, which has nearly perpetual Adoration.  It is such a gift!  And yet, we found ourselves talking with people who didn't even know it existed!

As we prepared our presentation, it became clear that despite our best efforts, we would perhaps not make much of a difference in terms of the overall number of Adorers in our chapel.  But it was clear God had brought us together, and we knew we had to proceed.  Mother Teresa's words became our mantra: "God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful."

The idea that perhaps we would lead one person to a deeper relationship with our Lord was not a small thought to us.  We decided to view even that as a huge success.  We chose to proceed without regard to the outcome, trusting that God called us to this work, and He certainly had His reasons.  We trusted fruit would come forth, even if we would never see it.

Honestly, I don't know what difference our efforts made -- except that they renewed my own appreciation for Adoration. 

And they encouraged me to continue with this blog.

I was so fearful of exposing myself here.  Afraid of failure, afraid of seeming like a fool!  This is not a decorating blog.  This is not merely for posting pictures of my children.  I wanted a place to share my faith.  It is extremely personal.  And it is hard.

Nevertheless, I felt a tugging on my heart that made me think God wanted me to pursue blogging anyway.  And, like we did with our efforts to promote Adoration, I thought He wanted me to move forward in faithfulness, not because I thought it may succeed in any earthly terms, but simply as a way of saying "Yes" to God!

I still had fear.  Even when I was editor of a newspaper, and had to write a weekly column, I found I couldn't look at my writing after it was published without getting a bit sick to my stomach.  God gave me this gift of writing that often requires me to "put myself out there," but doing so nevertheless often requires me to take a leap of faith.

I remember when it occurred to me, after I had started blogging a bit more regularly, that maybe I should tell some people about it.  Before that point, I would blog a bit, get cold feet and make the whole thing private, have another burst of courage and make it public again, and so on.  Now I felt like God wanted more.

So I told a couple family members.  And a couple friends.  And then in one big stomach-churning leap of faith, I posted something about it on Facebook.  I continued to enter into some serious deliberations with myself before each post, but slowly it did get easier.  And then I decided that if I was going to blog regularly, I had to spend more time just getting something on the page, and less time worrying about it.  This isn't my primary vocation, after all.

I have seen fruit from blogging.  When I write about ways God seems to be working in my life, it helps reinforce the lesson, I think.  I need a lot of that!  Writing more regularly has improved the other writing I enjoy doing for a local Catholic newspaper.  And it brings me joy.  Taking pictures, writing -- these are things I love.  It feels like an accomplishment to get something done that won't quickly be undone by a curious toddler.  Sewing, knitting, and scrapbooking are some ways to achieve this sense of making something permanent.  Writing can be too, I think.  The audience I usually have in mind is my children, in the future, maybe even when I am not there to guide them, finding some wisdom in my words that helps them embrace Jesus more fully in their own lives.  And that image encourages me to continue.

Ultimately, it is not about whether or not this blog can ever be deemed "successful."  For me, it is a "Yes" to God.  It is a sign of my faithfulness, one way in which I can help spread the Good News.  Come to think of it, that is a success indeed.

I had another topic, regarding an Advent Tea I attended last night, that I wanted to tie-in with this story, but I think that will have to wait for another day.  Stay tuned!  And, for the people who do read my blog ... thank you!