Facing Change with Our Father

With about a foot of snow falling over the past twenty-four hours, it is indeed "beginning to look a lot like Christmas" . . . and yet my last post was in June!

I could make excuses, but that doesn't seem fitting with the whole purpose of this blog, which is to share the work Christ is doing in my family's life with anyone it may encourage, and most specifically, with my children. Maybe the words they find here one day will help them see the many ways in which He walked with us, and was the Source of all the Good we have experienced in our life together.

The view out my front door Sunday morning.

So, no excuses; just gratitude for a summer in which I was blessed to have time to care for, and enjoy, my children and home. Time in which I was able to listen to God.

That time is more important than ever, because our family is in a time of many transitions.

Meghan started high school. She now travels about thirty-five minutes each way, every day, instead of the seven-minute commute our younger children enjoy.

And . . . I now have a part-time job outside of our home.

This is something about which my husband and I have been praying for some time now. When we chose a Catholic high school instead of the local public one, it seemed something would have to change at some point.

I was able to go into the whole process with a lot of peace, which truly was a gift of God's grace. Nothing happened overnight; it was probably a year-and-a-half of preparing my resume, and sending it out, and really just trying to discern what would be a good fit for our family.

There was a whole lot that wouldn't work--and we weren't willing to sacrifice the heart of what we've been trying to build up over the past nearly fifteen years. Catholic education is important to us, but we couldn't sacrifice our family for it.

God helped us to trust Him. It seems He kept asking us to trust Him in many little ways, and all of that added up to make this big leap relatively easy.

God showed me through this journey that He is so much bigger than we ever imagine, even as we tell ourselves we trust in Him. Even when we do trust in Him--even when we see Him work amazing things in our lives--what He can do is still so much more than I think our brains and hearts will ever fully comprehend in this life.

Meghan Dymphna celebrated her Confirmation on the morning of Halloween.
Bishop Earl Boyea gave a beautiful homily that day.

God helped me trust that if He wanted us to continue with Catholic high school, He would make it possible. I didn't know at the time how He would achieve that; He just helped me trust that He would take care of it.

My part, I felt, was simply to knock at and go through the doors He presented to me. There is a big difference between following the paths He seemed to place before me, feeling that I needed to run around looking for every possible path available,  pursuing all of those paths, and then having to figure out on my own what would be the best fit for my family.

Running around in that kind of a chaotic, exhausting way, is something I definitely would have done in the not-too-distant past. What mercy God extended to us, in that He helped me see He knew what would be best for us, and that He could reveal the plan to us in His time, if only we could take a deep breath and patiently trust!

We celebrated with a luncheon at our home after the Conformation.
I am so grateful for our daughter and for our faith.

When I submitted my resume and things didn't work out, it was OK, because I had such a deep peace. I knew that clearly wasn't the plan God had in mind for us. But I had done my part; I had gone through the door as far as I could. And He took all those efforts, and all of that work, and used it so I was ready when the right opportunity arose.

And when that opportunity came, He flooded me with so much peace, it didn't even seem like there was a decision to be made.

I marvel at it still. After being a full-time mom for nearly fifteen years, I accepted a job working outside of my home, and it was so simple.

God has blessed us in this position beyond what I could ever have imagined: I am working as an editor for a Catholic organization. I am doing work I love that brings me closer to God. I work with people who are fun, kind, and faith-filled. And my schedule is flexible enough to meet my family's needs.

Actually, the fact that it is a Catholic organization is also an answer to a prayer I rarely ever vocalized. For a number of years, I have done freelance writing for a Catholic newspaper. Getting to write about people living out their faith has been such a gift; in the depths of my heart, I hoped and prayed I could always dedicate my writing to God through work that glorified Him in a specifically faith-based way.

Thank You, dear Lord.

That is not to say this transition has not been without heartache. The night after I accepted the job, I actually reconsidered my decision, because the pain in my heart at the thought of leaving my three-year-old, Nicholas, and at not being available for my family in the same way I have been, seemed too much to bear.

I think I asked my sister-in-law, who works, "Is this what every working mom feels like? That your heart is being ripped out of your chest?"

She said yes.

This little guy was happy to help his big sister celebrate.
He also loved having his two great-grandmothers over for the day.

My husband encouraged me to continue; so did my children. Their enthusiasm and support has warmed my heart in so many ways. As I couldn't hold back some tears the night before I had to leave Nicholas with the babysitter for the first time, Brendan put his arm on my shoulder and gave me some real words of comfort. He is growing up in so many ways!

I am so thankful I persevered. While the pain is still there in some ways, there also are many blessings that come along with this opportunity. Just driving to work provides me with more quiet than I get most days when I am home!

I am able to fill my work with a lot of prayer. I want my work, along with all I do for my family, to be a prayer. God put me in this position because He believes my gifts can serve this work of His in some way. That is true for my work at home as well, but this is reminding me of that and is refreshing me by helping me see the gifts He has given me in a new light.

Also, I get to talk to people! My life as a mom has been lacking in that a bit, I think. It is nice to get to know these people, and to pray for them, and to feel part of a bigger circle. Plus, it is a Catholic work environment--so I can actually tell them I am praying for them, and we can actually talk about things in relation to our faith. I realize that is a blessing I cannot overstate!

God also has provided in small ways that actually are big deals for our family. Nick's babysitter is a sweet girl and he enjoys being with her (although he still asks first thing, every morning, whether I will stay home that day; and he still gets upset if I say no--heartbreak!).

And, Nick potty-trained pretty much completely in the one week I had between accepting the job and beginning work. That is a gift!

That's not ice cream--it's snow! He loves playing in the snow,
but I think he loves eating it more! Silly guy!

I am so glad I took this time to update here. I actually felt so relieved when I got this job, in part, because it meant I didn't have to look for ways to monetize my blog. Here, at least, I can simply continue to write as God leads me. This is an opportunity for which I also give thanks!

Now it is time to get ready for Mass, and Brendan's lacrosse practice, and a pre-Thanksgiving Costco trip. With Nicholas at my side the whole time! And with gratitude and joy in my heart for all of God's gifts, and for His greatness at leading my life in directions more wonderful than I could have imagined on my own.

In the joy, He walks with us. In the heartache, He walks with us. Truly, He is a great God. Let us give thanks that we also may call Him "Father."