We are called to give people the benefit of the doubt -- to give a positive interpretation to what may feel like someone's failings, rather than the negative interpretations that seem to step into our thoughts so much easier.
Even more important, though, is that we allow some of that positive light to shine on ourselves as well.
When I am kinder to myself -- when I remember that I am loved, and especially when I feel like I am loved -- it is easier to assume the best of those (often my children) with whom I share my day.
But when all I can see are my shortcomings, it's so hard to extend grace to others. Not because I don't think they deserve it. Not because I don't want to reach out and be loving to them. Simply because I can't give what I don't have. I can't instill the warmth of Chist's love into another's heart when I feel unloveable and flawed.
At those times, I can't imagine why anyone would want anything from me at all, unless it would be to have me clean up the dishes or to run another load of laundry!
At those times, my whole mindset is operating on a big, ugly lie -- that I am unloveable -- so it's no wonder that all I really want to do is crawl out of my skin and hide in a hole somewhere.
I recently read "The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic" by Matthew Kelly, and the book has a powerful premise. About seven percent of Catholics achieve everything the Church accomplishes in today's world. What if we could reach out to, and help grow the faith of, enough people to increase that number by just one percent a year? What if we could increase the number of active Catholics to just fourteen percent? We could change the world.
A large part of what sets apart the seven percent is that they spend at least a small part of every day in prayer and spiritual reading.
God can and will use the time we give Him to transform our lives. To pour graces and beauty into our lives.
My thought is that we can make that time even more powerful if, at some point in those minutes we give Him, we ask a simple question.
"Lord, help me to know Your love for me."
How much unrest, dissension, and distance from the faith comes from the simple fact that most people do not know He loves them? Even we who know God loves us often struggle to really believe in it enough so that we can rest in it in those moments when we are face-to-face with our own struggles and failures.
If we dedicate time every day to pray, the message of God's love for us probably will ultimately become clear. By why not just ask for this understanding from the beginning? Knowing God loves us enables us to love others. We can better accept others' failing when we know we too are loved, even though we are imperfect. When we know Someone finds us beautiful, it is easier to see beauty in others.
When we refuse to forgive ourselves, when we hold ourselves to a higher standard than He ever would, we really are denying His forgiveness and Mercy. How can these gifts flow through us to others, if we won't accept them?
Mother Teresa said, "The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty — it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There’s a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God."
She also said, "If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."
If we want to help people know God's love, we must know it first.
When my children say they want world peace, I remind them of Mother Teresa's words, and that the only way to achieve world peace is to first build it within ourselves, and in relationships with our own family members. How can we expect world peace, if we do not have peace in our own hearts and homes?
How can we share His peace and love with those closest to us, unless we first know His love for us?
So let's take the time to ask Him to help us know His Love. Then, we can share that Love with those around us. Then, we can be conduits of His Grace. And then, we can transform the world.
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