I came across a Facebook post today about a US policy-maker who thinks 75 is the best age to die. He explains his reasons for why he will stop virtually all medical intervention at that point, including antibiotics.
Basically, life starts losing its worth once you start declining mentally and physically. Also, he doesn't want to be a burden.
I have people in my own family who have been very clear about their desire to stop life, by any means, once they lose function, or are a burden.
But I don't think they know what they are saying.
In the past seven months, I have sat at the bedsides of two of my grandparents as they approached death, and there is one thing about which I am certain: God was at work.
In the minds and hearts of my grandparents. In the minds, hearts, and lives of those around them.
Those hours were precious. And the years preceding them, the 1-1/2 to nearly 2 decades beyond 75 that we got to enjoy these beautiful people in our lives? Precious as well.
My husband would hardly have known them, and none of my children. All those visits, all the times my children got to see -- "This is how we care for people." -- gone. The times my daughter smiled so contentedly as we left my Grandma, saying that she knew she had just really been able to brighten someone's day -- Gone. Knowing you have that kind of power, that your presence means so much, is a big deal for a preteen who is struggling with her sense of worth. Knowing you are loved just for being you is an amazing gift at any age.
What about my Grandma's joy at Nicholas' birth, the look on her face when she met him the first time? What about my children loving people for who they are, not what they can contribute in terms of ideas or bottom line? What about the Lego replica Brendan showed me through tears, of Opa sitting in his reclining chair?
Here is the article, and below you will find my response. This article was written as though it is merely one man's personal opinion, but that man is the director of the Clinical Bioethics Department at the U.S. National Institutes of Health. Make no mistake about it -- this article was written to further an agenda that will pressure people into making similar decisions at all stages of life, decisions that help make a healthy bottom line for a struggling health care system. Decisions that will strip our nation of more of its soul.
That this man has any public policy making power is disgusting and terrifying. He states: "The deadline also forces each of us to ask whether our consumption is worth our contribution." If each member of society needs to ask that question, many will need to consider taking his measures much earlier in life, sometimes even for their children -- something that is already happening when people abort children with certain health concerns. This is propaganda designed to make us feel better about making these decisions at any stage we aren't productive enough. Is that his solution to our health system?
Also, all Christian world view is clearly gone from this man, as he states: "But even if we manage not to become burdens to them, our shadowing them until their old age is also a loss. And leaving them—and our grandchildren—with memories framed not by our vivacity but by our frailty is the ultimate tragedy." He truly sees no value in learning to frame our lives around something other than our own wants?! Caring for others can be a cross, yes, but it also is where we can grow in love. I lost two grandparents this year, and every moment of our time with them was a gift. Sitting at their sides shortly before each of them died was a gift to me -- some of the most difficult and most beautiful times of my life. They were a gift to my children -- whenever we left them, my kids would be in the best moods for so long, because they had just spent time with people they knew without a doubt LOVED them so, so much. My children mourned their loss, and still do, not because they miss having adventures with them, but because they miss THEM. I am not arguing all medical means always need to be used, but this man's perspective on life misses the entire point. God works in lives at the end too. Perhaps, if we listen, at the end of our lives, we will be reminded that it is not our power and strength that ever mattered anyway. It is HIS. And perhaps that will help make our hearts more ready for heaven. THAT is really goal -- not that we were vibrant and never became a "burden ." (His words.) Maybe the problem isn't that some people are too frail to fit into our fast-paced lives. Maybe lives with no room for such people are the problem. Like the ghost told Ebenezor Scrooge, I think this man is confused as to who the "surplus population" truly is.
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