Grandmother's last days were a gift

My Grandmother passed away Friday.

It was Valentine's Day, and we all seemed to find solace in the thought that, after nearly 30 years apart, she and my Grandpa were reunited.

This was the first time my Grandma met Nicholas.  She had gone downhill shortly before his birth, and we weren't sure she would live very long then.  But she rallied, and sometimes I wonder if it wasn't just to see Nicholas, and another great-grandbaby due shortly after him.  I put together picture boards for the funeral home, and her eyes sparkle when she holds babies!  When she isn't smiling at them, she is kissing their heads, like in this picture.  Children brought her so much joy.  She couldn't always hear well, but you could tell she even enjoyed simply watching them run around like wild banshees  play. I hope I get to hold lots of babies when I am older, too!
My children enjoyed visiting her, as well.  They always seemed filled with a special peace and calm when we left her.  I think they could feel how much she loved them, and how much she appreciated their presence.  They were happy to see her, but I think what touched their hearts the most was knowing that they truly were bringing light into the day of someone who might not have had anyone else visit that day.  When we visited GG (as my children called her), they knew they got to bring the present, and it was simply themselves.

When I reflected upon it, though, my Grandmother's true Love all of these years has been Jesus.  That meeting is the one that must have been the most beautiful.

I think it also must have been so very natural for my Grandma to go straight into the arms of her Beloved.  He was constantly on her mind, and she had put her life in His hands.  This had been the case for many years, but was especially true during the last weeks of her life.

Our visits during that time had a special quality to them.

There was such a peace about her.  She frequently drifted in and out of sleep, but would speak as she opened her eyes, "I love God.  He is so good to me."

I had watched my Grandma struggle with declining mobility through the years, and even with questioning why God hadn't taken her sooner.  But at the very end, she let it go.  She truly seemed to put her life in His hands.  And there was a peace that came with that relinquishment.

She said to me, "I only want His will."

And, "I am emptied."

She did seem emptied, of herself, and of all of life's meaningless distractions.

She also seemed full.  Of love.

She would look at me with her blue-gray eyes that still seemed so sharp and bright, and she shared with me what a gift I was to her, and how much she loved me.

Those conversations were some of the most beautiful gifts of my life.  I will always treasure them.  I felt as though God Himself wanted me to know how much I am loved, and He was using her as a messenger.  What a priceless, beautiful thing it is to be loved.

I loved her too, and I told her so.  I have lost many loved ones in my life, but this was one of the first times I was able to say goodbye.  So I did my best to say everything I wanted to say.  But even with that, and with knowing how happy she must be in heaven right now, I miss her very much.

It's easy to underestimate what a fixture in one's life, and what a gift of God's love, a Grandmother can be.

She shared this advice with me on one of my last visits, "Just put your life in God's hands, and He will take care of you."  She paused, fixed those eyes on me again, and added forcefully, "He really will!"

He certainly took care of her.

It always amazed me to see how He met all of her needs.  And in the end, how He met her.  Based on visits to her room by caregivers from the home in which she lived, we can piece together that my Grandmother died peacefully, in her chair, watching the Holy Mass on EWTN.

Such a beautiful passing, for such a beautiful woman.

I love you, Grandma.  May your soul rest in eternal peace.